Hivemind Times Issue #95

Welcome To The Hivemind Times!

Hot off the press issue number 95 has arrived just as ordered. 

What a week over here at HQ. We were without Grant for some of the week - he was soaking up the Argentina vs Egypt match in Atlanta, I’m sure he will share some details with ya. 

Classic Pranks tier hit the second channel airways and keep your eyes peeled on the main channel this afternoon for something potentially goliath. 

Hope non ya’ll blew your fingers off with fireworks! Enjoy ya weekend.

- Graydon

WEEKLY PLAYLIST

Just purely random jams I was bopping over the fourth weekend on my drive to and from the lake.

- Graydon

MOVIE REVIEW

Jackass: Best and Last (2026) - Dir Jeff Tremaine

I saw the saddest movie of the year and shed a tear in theaters for the first time in a very long time.

That movie was the final Jackass. Beginning in 2000 I have quite literally grown up with Jackass being a part of my life just as my favorite sports teams, bands, or Xbox. They are The Beatles of prank and physical comedy and such a major inspiration to my own buffoonery. I owe a great deal of credit to Knoxville and the gang. 

The final installment was packed with archival footage and fond memories, many featuring Ryan Dunn and Bam, which pulls at the heart strings. I appreciated the restraint for 1000 celebrity cameos which I thought bogged down the previous installment. I thought the budget was allocated meaningfully to very funny moments. The credits sequence is the emotional finale the gang deserved and I wept.

If LeBron does a farewell tour in Cleveland this year and Jackass ends, 2026 will forever be a closed chapter in my life that will be hard to put into words.

5/5

- Graydon

WHO’S YOUR FAV JACKASS?

ALBUM RECS

This one’s straight from Tony himself.

SPORTS

Argentina vs Egypt LIVE IN ATLANTA

Down in Atlanta! I had the opportunity to witness greatness live so you know I gotta pull up…. 

We were not disappointed. Argentina, Egypt, round of 16. Instant Classic. The weekend started after I missed my 7:25am flight out of DTW, waking up at 6am, I thought I still had a chance to make the flight. My dumbass drove all the way to the airport knowing I was probably not gonna make it, and yeah, didn't make it. If only I had slept in a little bit longer I wouldn’t have thought I could've made it and just stayed home. 

Anyway, the next available flight to ATL was at 9pm, which ended up getting delayed 3 HOURS. Long story short, we didn't land until 2:30am, and didn't get to the hotel until 4am. The following day we hit up Coca Cola World and the fish prison. That was pretty cool. I bought some fire Coke merch. Next day we launch outta bed and head straight to the stadium at 8:30am. Insane atmosphere, like insane. Mercedes' closed roof made it feel like a snow globe. The energy and the passion was undeniable. The Argentinian supporters were absolutely bonkers, the singing, chanting, and the WHISTLING were off the charts loud.

Off the rip Egypt scores the opener I think around the 13th minute, but, when you’ve witnessed greatness as a nation before, the Argentinian fans got even more behind their team. Boom Penalty. Messi steps up, MISSES! I swear to god players are missing so many PKs this World Cup. At this point of the match both these teams are DOGGING it out, slightly favoring Egypt. This guy Haissem Hassan, what a plurrrr. Everytime he got the ball he made something happen. Halftime 1-Nil to Egypt.

The second half starts and now Argentina are attacking the goal we are seated behind. Let's start with the big talking point, Egypt's disallowed goal. The “foul” was committed 20 yards in front of my seat and live, it honestly looked like he dove. Martinez was in the corner 2v1 and was just looking for some bullshit. I thought the ref made the right no-call. Then, Egypt win possession and go on a lightning fast counter, carrying the ball 100 yrds up the pitch in 45 seconds by none other than Hasissem Hassan, passes square to Salah, who slides in Ziko finishing above a diving Emi Martinez. You could hear a pin drop in the stadium, what a fucking goal. 

At least 2-3 minutes after Argentina concedes, a VAR review occurs. This was my first time witnessing VAR live and I gotta say it’s an awful viewing experience. The fans at the game don’t really get to see the replays or clearly hear the referee when he makes the decision. Basically all I understood was the goal was disallowed and the ball was getting moved to where Martinez had been “fouled”. 

I have a million problems with this decision, and it highlights the issues with VAR. Why are they getting involved there, I have no idea. The “foul” had occurred SO LONG before the build up to the goal. Egypt had to do so much work to score from where the turnover occurred, I believe that if it was a foul, the ref should have called it. It was soft as fuck anyway. Egypt score 10 minutes later. NOW the stadium is stressed. Egyptian fans in dreamland. 

After a brief period of Argentine grieving, they pick up in song again. A wandering Romero picks up a goal from a whipped cross from the far side of the field. We are alive. Momentum is a real thing, people. Messi is seeing more impactful possession, bridging players in the box, being given time to turn, creating chaos. Scramble, ball gets knocked down, Messi buries it on the half volley. 2-2. Yikes. The Argentines are shedding tears, could they do it again? 

Obviously, you saw the game. Egypt commit bodies forward and lose possession in midfield, Lautaro is found on a nicely weighted pass and launches in a gorgeous cross onto stupid Enzo Fernandez’s head. 90’+2, a folklore comeback, a never say die attitude, a mark of a team who have BEEN THERE BEFORE. What a game of footy. I still can’t believe what I witnessed. I almost don’t even remember being there. It was all a blur.

- Grant

POEM OF THE WEEK

Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.   
His house is in the village though;   
He will not see me stopping here   
To watch his woods fill up with snow.  

My little horse must think it queer   
To stop without a farmhouse near   
Between the woods and frozen lake   
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake   
To ask if there is some mistake.   
The only other sound’s the sweep   
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,   
And miles to go before I sleep.

RECIPES

Prosciutto & Goat Cheese Cantaloupe

Ingredients:

• Cantaloupe (1)

• Prosciutto (4 oz)

• Blueberry Vanilla Goat Cheese (2-3 oz)

• Honey (for drizzling)

Instructions:

1. Cut the cantaloupe in half and scoop out the seeds. Slice each half into wedges, then cut the wedges in half to create appetizer-sized pieces.

2. Top each cantaloupe slice with half a slice of prosciutto and a small piece of blueberry vanilla goat cheese.

3. Arrange on a serving platter and drizzle with honey just before serving.

I found the blueberry vanilla goat cheese at Trader Joe’s, but regular goat cheese is a great substitute.

- Graydon

MERCH