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Hivemind Times Issue #73

Hivemind Times Issue #73

From movie benders to flat earth to a pleasant cheese jelly dip

Hivemind
January 23, 2026

Welcome To The Hivemind Times!

Greetings from Hivemind Graydon writing to you from what might literally be the coldest place on earth.

If this is my last transmission to ya’ll before my icy demise I just want you to know heaven is a lie.

Hey we still managed to get some hot vids out to you this week in the form of Cheap Seats, Unlimited (ft. Brandon Wardell) and a special video for Patreon and Youtube members.

We got our old asses out to LA last weekend to take some sexy merch pictures with the man Copes last weekend so brace yourself for those to hit the airways. Hope everyone is enjoying the merch as it is landing and I hope you enjoy the read here of issue #73 of The Hivemind Times.

- Riley & Graydon

WEEKLY PLAYLIST

Tony wants you to lock in today with this one.

looking for the neighbors

Playlist · Tony (: · 23 items

open.spotify.com/playlist/27Uh8W7YUNnyH2lSAvUeKM?si=kv8GnXzLQPiuNnTqbg0yjw

MOVIE REVIEW

My two day movie bender

Hello, dear readers. Once again, I have been asked to write to you, precious and delicate Hivemind fans.

When was the last time you went to the movie theater? When was the last time someone held you tenderly in their arms and told you that you are loved? If you are reading this, then the latter has probably never happened to you.

Anyway, the reason I bring up the movie theater is because I went twice this week. I love going to the movie theater. It is amazing. You turn your phone off and exist in a perfectly static state while watching some billion dollar production. What a treat. I am actually going again today to see Greenland 2…..

The two movies I saw this week were Marty Supreme and the new 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, so I will give you a bit of a review of both.

Wow. Wow. WOW!!!!! Marty Supreme completely blew me away. It’s honestly the best movie I've seen in a very very long time. What a fun, interesting story and cool setting. And everyone in the movie just did such an incredible job.

I do have to say I knew it was going to be an excellent movie because my girlfriend, Odessa A’zion, plays Rachel in it. When she would get home from shooting and come back to our apartment, which we live in together, she was always so excited to tell me about the scenes she did that day and for me to finally be able to see it on the big screen.

We have been having such a great time together ever since we decided to get a place. We go for walks, hold hands, and we love to frequently get pizza at our favorite spot in Brooklyn, Luigi’s Pizza on 5th Ave. We are even thinking about getting a cat and naming him Shlomo after my great grandfather. She is such a sweetheart.

The other day, she hid my shoes because she did not want me to go to work. She wanted me to stay inside on a snowy New York day and just play video games, watch movies, and bake cookies with her. So I said fuck it. We ended up laughing the entire afternoon, making a mess of the kitchen, and forgetting about the outside world for a while.

Moments like that make everything else feel smaller and remind me how lucky I am to share a life with her. It is in those quiet, ordinary hours that I feel the most at peace, like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, building something real with someone who makes even the simplest days feel special. There is something deeply comforting about knowing that happiness does not always arrive in grand moments, but often shows up softly, disguised as shared laughter, warm kitchens, and time that seems to slow down just for us.

Those are the moments I find myself holding onto, the ones that linger long after the cookies are gone and the snow has melted, reminding me that love can be both simple and extraordinary at the same time.

She holds me in a way that feels instinctive and safe, like she knows exactly where I fit. When she wraps her arms around me, I feel seen and cared for in a way I never have before. It is a kind of love that feels steady and reassuring, something I did not realize I was missing until I found it with her, and now I cannot imagine what life felt like without it.

28 Years Later was cool too. 7/10 excited for the next one.

- Rozey

QUINN’S CHEMISTRY CLASS

Flat Earth is Fucking Stupid

I’m sure almost everyone reading this has heard of flat Earth theory. I was under the impression that most people know what flat Earth theory actually is and what the general flat Earth model is composed of, but after mentioning it through jest to a few friends and family recently, I have come to realize that I was wrong.

Almost no one I have brought it up to realized exactly how moronic and laughably nonsensical flat Earth theory actually is. Everyone sort of knows its kinda dumb and funny but they don’t know exactly what it means, so I am going to explain exactly what flat earthers believe (or what some of them believe since there is no actual agreed upon model due to it being impossible to reconcile all of the obvious flaws with any flat Earth models).

If you don’t want to read the history just skip to the last section where I describe the models and beliefs.

By the way, if you believe flat Earth, you are a fucking dumbass and need to legitimately learn basic math and physics and do some experiments and measurements yourself because you are being lied to by grifters and deluded insane people online.

Short Flat Earth History

Flat Earth is an archaic and scientifically disproven conception of the Earth's shape as a plane or disk. Many ancient societies subscribed to a flat-Earth cosmography. The model has undergone a recent resurgence as a conspiracy theory in the 21st century.

It was disproven more than 2000 years ago (around 200 BC) by a guy with only a pen and two sticks, named Eratosthenes, who calculated the circumference of the Earth by measuring the difference in the angles of two shadows cast by 2 different rods of equal height measured at the same time in 2 different cities along the same meridian. So, if you believe in flat earth, you are dumber than a guy that didn’t walk around with a computer in his pocket with access to all of human knowledge since the dawn of recorded history and 2000 years of technological and scientific advancements.

Most of the ancient flat Earth theories describe the earth as either a round or square disk floating in a giant ocean, probably because they could only go to the shorelines of any land mass they were on and hadn’t circumnavigated the globe yet. A few of them also say the sky is a giant dome or “firmament” with the sun and moon and stars embedded on to it. Some of the ancient theories say the Earth is a bowl, a wheel, a concentric series of oceans and land masses. All sorts of fun ideas.

Modern Flat Earth Model(s)

Modern flat Earth models aren’t too far off from the ancient ones, as far as sounding ridiculous and obviously wrong goes. Like I said earlier, flat earthers vary widely in their views of their models of Earth, as well as their views of space and the universe. Due to this, it was actually really difficult for me to write this accurately, the more I look into it, the less obvious it is what these morons believe in. I will try including pictures in here with all of the different models.

Most agree upon a disc-shaped Earth with all the mapped out major land masses and continents, with the exception of Antarctica, being inside of the ocean while Antarctica is actually a massive ice wall that surrounds the entire ocean (and planet) and drops off at the edge of the disc. Some of them think it's a diamond and not a circle. The Earth, sun, moon, and stars are all inside of a giant dome, or firmament, with the sun and moon rotating over the Earth on opposite sides of each other.

Most flat earthers do not believe in outer space and almost none believe humans have ever travelled there. They also do not believe in gravity, because it disproves flat Earth. The Flat Earth Society believes the Earth is a flat disk flying through space, but the Flat Earth International Conference believes the Earth is a stationary plane and that space is a projection on the dome. I have also read before that there are a large portion of them that think the earth goes on infinitely, with more continents beyond the ice wall (would be an awesome fantasy setting btw).

I have even seen one theory that states, what we have mapped of the Earth is just a tiny circle or “island” that is part of an insanely more massive hollow globe, so it just appears flat to us, which is particularly hilarious because they went full circle all the way back to the Earth being a globe again. Flat-Earthers argue that NASA manipulates and fabricates its satellite images, based on observations that the color of the oceans changes from image to image and that continents seem to be in different places.

The publicly perpetuated image is kept up through a large-scale practice of "compartmentalization", according to which only a select number of individuals have knowledge about the truth. They think all pictures and videos of earth from high altitudes or from space, videos from inside the ISS, pictures taken from any of the major space telescopes are all cgi or photoshop. A lot of them are biblical literalists or fundamentalists, quoting scripture as their argument and believe that evolution, astrophysics, and other STEM fields are pseudoscience.

Another large majority believe in an overarching conspiracy for knowledge suppression. Building upon the premise that knowledge is power, the flat Earth conspiracy argues that a shadowy group of "elites" control knowledge to remain in power. They might actually be on to something with that last point, but if there really are a group of elites suppressing knowledge, the flat earthers are the ones falling right into their trap.

I could keep going for a long time, but it goes so deep you will just have to Google it yourself for some laughs. Here are some fun pictures of some of the flat earth models mentioned, followed by some links to videos of flat earthers accidentally disproving their own model: