Hivemind Times Issue #63

Welcome To The Hivemind Times!

Attention my loyal reader, it is me, William Randolph Hearst of The Hivemind Times. Today’s issue is an absolutely slap daddy of a read full of laughs, information and an all around positive experience.

I kind of wanna start putting classifieds and coupons in here let me know if you lot would dig that. 

Anyway, it's been a wonderful week over here at the HQ, the mecca of online comedy. We may not have dropped a ton on ya but trust we are sitting on a mountain of CRAP. Tons of collabs are filmed and in the wings that I’m really excited for. Nate Meeker should be making a very special debut on Unlimited today and boy is that fella funny so please be sure to tune into that.

Happy basketball season to those who celebrate - go Cavs. Enjoy the read mfers.

- Riley & Graydon

ALBUM RECS

Just five jazz goats (Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Bud Powell, Charles Mingus, Max Roach) fucking jamming and probably high as fuck.

SALT PEANUTS SALT PEANUTS!

- Graydon

WHAT’S THE BEST MOVIE SO FAR THIS YEAR?

INTERVIEW TIME!

Featuring Brandon Wardell

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

On October 24th 1946, a camera onboard a V2 rocket took the first picture of Earth from outer space.

RECIPES

Apple Crumble Pie

I made a delicious Apple Crumble Pie and thought ya know what? Let me share the recipe with y’all.

Something to keep in mind is that only real chefs can pull this off, because this is not an exact recipe. So a lot of what you’ll be doing is feeling it out as you go.

INGREDIENTS:

FILLING:

• 1 cup of love

• 6 honey crisp apples (ours were smaller b/c we picked them)

• 1 ½ lemons

• 1 cup of brown sugar

• ⅓ cup of regular sugar

• A ton of cinnamon 

• Flour to thicken (to likeness)

• A pinch of salt

CRUMBLE:

• Cold butter, almost the entire stick, cubed

• ⅓ cup of flour

• ¼ cup brown sugar

• 3 tablespoons reg sugar

• Crushed peanuts (if you can't eat it FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT ADD IT)

• Pinch of salt

PIE CRUST:

Follow the instructions on the box (we store bought) (like real chefs). When it comes out of the oven paint it in butter.

INSTRUCTIONS:

FILLER:

Peel apples, then cut your apples into thin slices, then cut your slices in half. Butter a pan, cook your apples while adding in brown sugar, regular sugar, cinnamon, lemon juice, and salt. As your apples are cooking, liquid will accumulate, add flour to thicken your pie filling. YOU WANT IT TO BE GOOPY. Don’t cook apples too long b/c you want them to still be a little crunchy (don't forget this goes in the oven later)

CRUMBLE:

Add all dry ingredients into a bowl and mix with a fork, slowly add in cubed butter, mashing it into the dry ingredients until it's balled up. You don't want your ingredients COMPLETELY combined. 

COOKING:

Throw in your filling into the pie crust and add the crumble on top. Bake in the oven at 450 for 10 - 12 minutes. Then boom boom boom boom.

Disclaimer: This was all a guesstimation of how the pie was assembled. Use your brain and your heart.

Godspeed.

- Grant

THIS WEEK’S COMICS

MERCH

YOU’VE GOT TO THE END OF OCTOBER FOR THESE (and others)!