Hivemind Times Issue #38

Welcome To The Hivemind Times!

Happy fucking Friday you filthy freaks. It’s officially May and you know what that means. Not shit. But you can count on The Hivemind Times to continue to be the only print source of media that will entertain your fried ADHD little minds. 

Got a couple fun guest spots (I think) for y’all courtesy of our friends over at Big Pink HQ. Cronk said he is gonna write something “beast” so look out for that. I hope all of you are taking care of yourselves to the best of your abilities because in these trying times health is wealth. And boy was I sick this week. Read on and prosper. 

I am writing this before the Pistons play tonight but hopefully you are reading after they have won. 313 Bad boys 4L.

Joyx3.

- Riley & Graydon

WEEKLY PLAYLIST

Yet another classic electronic playlist courtesy of Tony.

CRONK’S UPDATE

AN UPDATE ON MY 2000 FORD EXPLORER

Hello all, it’s been a while since I got the chance to work on my beloved Explorer. If you’re newer to the newsletter, I’ll get you up to speed. This truck was given to me by my lovely girlfriend’s family.

Her Grandpa (one of the realest mf’s I ever met) bought it new in the ripe year of 2000 and kept it in the garage for most of its life. It was then passed through the family to eventually me. Now this car is special because I always prayed it would end up in my hands.

Here’s a rundown of what I’ve done to this beast already:

• Brakes all the way around

• Tires

• Transmission Valve Body Rebuild

• All Shocks

• Front Control Arms

• Front Sway Bar Links/Ball Joints

• An extensive coolant flush (I didn't have heat this winter)

• Rear Diff Fluid Change

• And now the final big project, the leaking exhaust manifold

This truck is comfortable, loaded with style, and mean as fuck. Having a leaking exhaust completely takes you out of thinking “This is a nice old truck” and makes you think “Why are you driving this piece of shit?”

So last weekend I got bold, put the damn thing on jack stands, and got to it. I ripped bolt after bolt. It all went swimmingly until I realized the exhaust flange that meets the manifold was in a very, very uncomfortable location. It's a 99% chance an exhaust bolt needs to be cut out because of rust and heat making the bolt not want to come out. The location makes this absolutely impossible to cut out.

Today is Thursday. I have been cutting this bolt out with a hacksaw for at least a couple of hours every day since Sunday. I promise a power tool will not fit. I am determined to get this done. I will ruin my well-being over this.

Tune in next week to see if the jack stands slipped out from under the car.

- Cronk

ALBUM RECS

Here’s a treat and journey of an album for your little ears.

- Graydon

QUINN’S CHEMISTRY CLASS

How to Get Free Stuff on the Internet

I have never downloaded or installed any illegally obtained software for free. But if I had, I would say that I have been cracking and torrenting software on the internet for 15 years. I know it may seem like a mysterious, daunting, and possibly dangerous task. I even once had a tattoo artist give me a free tattoo just for installing a cracked version of Ableton 10 on her macbook instead of learning how to do it herself. I assure you, it is much easier and accessible than you think. This article will be a crash course on how to safely locate, download, and install cracked software from the internet.

I want to preface this by saying; downloading and running .exe files from random people on the internet is NEVER fully safe and can lead to infecting your system with malware, even if you take all of the basic precautionary steps to make sure you avoid malware. Unless you are a cyber security expert and know exactly how to and what to look for when figuring out if files contain malware, proceed with caution. I am not a cyber security expert, and I have never downloaded illegally obtained free software, but if I had I would say, I have been doing it long enough that I generally know how to avoid malware.

Before you download your first torrent

Before you go looking for cracked software, there are a few things you should do and a few things you need to do to increase safety and actually download the files required to install the software.

First, install the firefox browser. Firefox is actually my default browser, it has very robust privacy settings and is pretty customizable, you can import all of your logins and bookmarks from your current browser, it has relatively low memory and cpu usage, and most importantly, it is the most compatible with the next step. Install the Ublock Origin extension for firefox. Ublock is the best adblock extension I have come across and it is consistently updated to fight against popular websites’ workarounds for ad blockers. 

Next, you're going to want a DNS resolver with a malware filter, I use Quad9. To oversimplify it, this will basically block access to known and popular malware containing addresses. Set up a VPN, there are many options, I would suggest doing your own research to find one that works for you. A VPN encrypts your connection by pinging it through a server and also hides your IP, allowing you to access addresses that are blocked by your ISP. Finally, install a well known and safe torrent client, I use Tixati but qBittorrent is the most popular one. Link your VPN to your torrent client, so you can only use the client when your VPN is active.

Where to look

Now that you have a basic privacy set-up, you are going to want to look for the software or media you want to download on a well known and reputable tracker. A great place to start is to google  “reddit r/piracy megathread” and, from the subreddit, find and bookmark the version of the megathread they have linked that is not on reddit. I would suggest reading through most of it and the entire sidebar of the subreddit. What you are looking for though, is the list of reputable trackers and torrent websites on the megathread. (A huge bonus, it has a list of websites that you can stream movies and shows and anime in high quality for free but you pretty much need an adblock to use them.) 

The megathread is updated regularly so make sure to check it every time you are about to search for something. Even better, is to find reputable private trackers, but these often require invite links or are harder to find and you need to seed a certain amount of data per month to keep your access. 

If I was going to download and install illegal software, which I haven’t and wouldn't, I would mostly be installing audio and editing software. I would use rutracker.org a lot, it has a lot of obscure plug-ins and shows, plus comment threads on every post that you HAVE TO read through before downloading anything. Reading the comments on torrent link posts is a must and has saved me from downloading malware or wasting time installing broken or bug ridden cracks. 

Once you have found a promising torrent, you will look for the “magnet link” on the torrent post. They almost always literally have a little sprite of a magnet next to them. When you click on the link, choose to open it with the torrent client you installed earlier, and save it to a designated torrent folder. Once it has finished downloading, they often come with a text file with instructions on how to properly install the software and you must follow this exactly. 

A lot of times, other users or the OP,  in the comments will have troubleshooting fixes or a correction or simplification of the instructions. Sometimes it's as easy as running a patched installer. Other times you will have to run the installer, run a patcher, generate a license file and put it in the program folder, block a website address on your firewall before running the software, or even run some basic commands from the cmd prompt.

That's it, now you have working cracked software and hopefully no north korean malware that is mining bitcoin from your pc and scrubbing personal data off your network. Be safe out there and happy cracking!

- Quinn

SPORTS

The Pistons :(

This is what cocky ass Munch wrote me before the Stones choked at home. I am so sorry for anyone who thought Jalen Brunson wasn’t ready to slit throats. Also MSG should give you your money back, Maher. RIP Pistons until next year…

“Them boys went to the garden just to see KAT pull his pants down & Brunson blow it! IMAGINE THINKING CADE WASNT AN ALLSTAR. Nothing like hearing the garden full of crickets after the Pistons get the game 5 DUBSKIII. Writing this from the uber after landing from NY going straight to LCA for game 6… did I say PISTONS IN 7. Only 15 teams ever came back down 15-1 in the postseason and I heard Cade’s ready to rewrite history. See me on the Jumbotron under a popcorn shower going crazy. DEEEEEETROITTTT BASKETBALLLLLL”

- OUCHHHHHH

I will be rooting and tooting for the Knicks to beat the evil empire that is Boston.

- Graydon

NEW HIRE FIT CHECK

My phone is about to die and I forgot my charger at the office so no prices this week :/

MERCH